outgrowing doesn’t always mean letting go.

lately, i've been thinking about how much i've changed over the years.

i don't think i've become distant. i think i've just outgrown certain things.

the conversations i used to have don't always interest me anymore. the places i used to go don't always excite me. the version of me from a few years ago wanted different things than the version of me today.

that doesn't mean i love the people in my life any less.

sometimes growth just changes what fills your cup.

i'll always appreciate the people who have been part of my journey, even if we don't talk as often or our lives have gone in different directions. i don't believe every relationship is supposed to stay exactly the same forever, and i don't think that makes the love any less real.

i'm learning that:

it's okay to grow. 

it's okay to change. 

and it's okay to become someone your younger self never imagined.

i'm grateful for every version of my life because each one helped me become who i am today.

but enough with me for today lol, thxs for reading :)

the heels i never forgot

there are certain fashion pieces that never really leave your mind, and for me, these giuseppe zanotti x kanye west “cruel summer” heels have always been one of them.

i remember seeing the everywhere back in the early 2010s. between the sculpted wings on the front and the way they looked, they felt more like a piece of art than just another pair of heels.

but if i’m being honest, i don’t think i would’ve fallen in love with them the way i did if it wasn’t for kim kardashian. even though the collaboration was between kanye west and giuseppe zanotti, kim was the one who made those heels iconic to me. she wore them with everything, and every time i’d see a new outfit, there they were. when i think of these shoes, i don’t think of a runway or a campaign. i think of kim as the muse.

the funny thing is, i never bought them back then. not because i didn’t love them, but because that just wasn’t my style at the time.

i was always a sneaker girl. if you knew me back then, you would’ve found me wearing giuseppe zanotti sneakers with the signature side zippers long before you would’ve caught me in a pair of heels. i admired the cruel summer heels from afar, but i wasn’t wearing heels like that yet.

it’s funny how getting older changes your style.

last year, i finally found a pair on ebay for $230. after taxes and shipping, i paid $271, which i honestly think was a really good price for a shoe that’s become so iconic.

what made it feel like an even bigger win is that i have big feet *shakes head*. depending on the brand and the style, i’m anywhere from a size 10 to a 12 in heels, so finding shoes i actually love in my size isn’t always easy. if you’re a girl with bigger feet, then you already know the struggle. sometimes the hardest part isn’t finding the shoe, it’s finding the shoe in your size.

one thing i will always recommend is checking ebay if you’re looking for vintage or discontinued designer pieces. i’ve had such good experiences shopping there. if an item is over a certain amount, ebay also offers authentication, which gives you a little extra peace of mind. in my case, i had already verified the shoes with the original retailer after buying them, so i already felt confident they were authentic. having ebay authenticate them too was just a nice bonus.

$ 1st foot selfie $

i ended up getting a yellow pair, and i absolutely love the color. i don’t see that one nearly as often, which makes it feel even more special to me. the only downside is that yellow gets dirty so easily, so i don’t wear them as much as i’d like because i’m always trying to keep them looking nice.

but honestly, i’m just happy i finally have them.

it’s funny how the things you admired as a teenager can still make you just as excited years later. the younger me would’ve reached for the sneakers every single time. now, i appreciate both.

maybe that’s one of my favorite parts about getting older. sometimes you get to become the person who buys the things your younger self would’ve never imagined owning. ୨୧

a little piece of the 2000s

there’s just something about finally getting something you’ve wanted for years.

if you were around in the 2000s, then you probably remember the balenciaga city bag. it was everywhere, and even after all these years, i still found myself admiring it. so finally getting one feels like checking something off my little fashion wish list.

i ended up getting the mini, and honestly… i’m obsessed.

my new baby <3

before i buy any bag, i have one very important question: does it fit my kindle basic?

if the answer is no, there’s a good chance i’m leaving it in the store lol. i read whenever i have free time, whether i’m on the train, waiting for an appointment, or sitting in a café. my kindle goes almost everywhere with me.

luckily, the city bag passed the test.

it fits my kindle, wallet, hand sanitizer, lip gloss, charger, portable charger, and a few other little things without feeling stuffed. i was honestly surprised by how much it holds for such a small bag.

what makes me love it even more is that it feels like owning a little piece of fashion history. the city bag had such a huge moment in the 2000s, and now it’s slowly making its way back again. seeing it have a little comeback made me realize that some things really never lose their charm.

i’ve also realized i want to start collecting bags that were iconic back then. not because they’re trendy again, but because i’ve genuinely loved them for years. there’s something really satisfying about finally owning something you’ve admired for so long.

of course… now i’ve already convinced myself that i need the larger city bag to wear on my shoulder. ---->

so i guess this is how the collection begins.

one city bag down… a few more dream bags to go. 

gratitude isn’t competition kween.

the other day i caught myself thinking about gratitude in a different way.

someone i know was telling me how miserable they were, and my first thought was, “at least you still have someone to call.”

then i stopped myself.

because two things can be true at the same time.

someone can be grateful for what they have and still be hurting because of what they’re going through.

those things don’t cancel each other out.

it made me realize how often we compare pain.

we tell people, “someone has it worse.”

or we tell ourselves we shouldn’t celebrate because “someone else has it better.”

but maybe life isn’t meant to be measured that way.

gratitude isn’t a competition.

it doesn’t erase hard days, and hard days don’t erase everything we have to be thankful for.

lately, i’ve been trying to notice the things i usually overlook.

the ability to wake up.

the people i can call.

having a place to come home to.

being able to sit down and write whatever is on my mind.

reading a good book.

laughing until my stomach hurts.

those things aren’t small.

they’re parts of life that someone else might be praying for today.

that doesn’t mean i’m pretending everything is perfect.

it just means i’m learning that gratitude and struggle can exist in the same heart at the same time.

and i think that’s a perspective i want to hold on to.

✨ what my 30s taught me ✨

 my 30s have changed me in ways i never expected.

i’m 31 now, and one thing i can say for sure is that i’m standing on business when it comes to the people i let into my life.

there are no more “maybe they’ll change.”

no more trying to convince myself that potential is enough.

no more making excuses for people who don’t show up the way i need them to.

i’ve realized that protecting my peace isn’t being difficult. it’s respecting myself.

i haven’t had sex in over a year, and honestly, i’m okay with that. it isn’t because i don’t want a relationship. it isn’t because i’m lonely. it’s because i’ve stopped giving parts of myself to people who haven’t earned access to them.

my standards aren’t impossible. they’re just clear.

i don’t want someone who’s only around when it’s convenient. i don’t want to question where i stand. i don’t want to settle because i’m afraid of being alone.

i’d rather be by myself than spend my time with someone who makes me feel like i’m asking for too much.

the older i get, the more i realize that love isn’t just about chemistry. it’s about consistency, respect, honesty, and feeling safe with someone.

my love life isn’t a joke to me.

the people i let into my world matter. if i choose you, it’s because i genuinely see you as someone worth sharing my time, my energy, and my life with.

so if that means i have to wait a little longer, i’m okay with that.

i’m not waiting because i’m lonely.

i’m waiting because i’ve finally learned that the right people are worth waiting for.

♡ ✧

brick by brick

 i never thought i’d become a lego person… and then i built my first set.

now here we are. 

somewhere along the way, i realized it wasn’t just about putting little bricks together. it’s become one of my favorite ways to slow down, put my phone away, and spend a few hours creating something.

this little corner is where i’ll share the sets i’m building, the ones on my wishlist, and probably convince myself that i have room for just one more. ☆

i’m still growing my collection, and honestly, that’s part of the fun. every set reminds me of a moment, a feeling, or just a day i wanted to create something with my hands.

whether you’re a longtime lego collector or you’re thinking about buying your very first set, i’m so happy you’re here. i’d love to hear about your favorite builds, your dream set, or the one that’s been sitting in your cart for months.

thanks for stopping by. ♡ ✧

୨୧ until the next build ୨୧