just needed to vent to my girls here because i recently had to cut somebody off that i’ve known for 10+ years
and there wasn’t some huge argument or crazy falling out. i just realized… i don’t benefit from this relationship anymore.
and that might sound harsh, but oh well.
i’m at a point in my life where my time genuinely matters to me. from september through december, i’m either at my internship or i’m working. i literally don’t have days off right now. so when i do have an hour or two to myself, why would i spend it sitting on the phone with somebody ALL DAY just for us to barely even be talking??
like… what are we doing? π
i’m grown. i have bills. i have goals. i’m building a career. i have real grown woman shit going on.
and i’ve realized that knowing somebody for a long time doesn’t automatically mean they still deserve unlimited access to you.
if i’m making space for you during a season where i barely have space for myself, i need that relationship to add something to my life. emotionally, mentally, financially, whatever. i need to feel supported. i need effort. i need reciprocity. i need to feel like there’s actually a BENEFIT to us being in each other’s lives.
and no, that doesn’t mean every relationship has to be transactional. i’m not sitting here asking “what can you do for me?” every five seconds lol.
but i’m also not interested in relationships where the only thing somebody contributes is wanting access to me.
sometimes you don’t fall out with people.
sometimes you just grow up and realize… this doesn’t make sense for me anymore.
I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. I do remember doing those kind of long calls with my friends when I was younger; I mean, we had nothing else to do! But now, if the call starts lasting for more than 5 minutes and it seems to have no purpose, I just grow annoyed. I have college, extracurriculars, hobbies; a life. And don't even get me started when I start getting jokes like "so you hate me, so you hate me!" It's not funny.
ReplyDeletethank you kween π but yes girl YES!! this was literally my situation π like we’ve known each other since 2015 and i just had to realize that what worked for our friendship back then does NOT work for me in my 30s. i cannot sit on the phone all day in silence or have the same conversations about absolutely nothing like TALK TO ME!! lmao. sometimes you really do just outgrow the dynamic you had with somebody, even when there’s still love there. and that’s okay
Deletei have definitely been there! it becomes so apparent when you're in a different part of life than they are. this shows you're killing it tho! sounds like you're on that grind and they aren't. i've had to recently do this. keep your standards high ~
ReplyDeletethank you so much kween π, i thought i was sounding like a b*tch when i was creating this post but in reality this is just standards that i created for myself. i feel it’s the bare minimum too! so hey, whoever is the lucky person to come around in my life next im definitely setting rules! its a strict program π.
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